Paws & Ponder: What does “fixing” fix?

We’re pleased to announce our new doggie advice column: advice from a dog to a dog! Whether your dog is a mischievous mutt, a pampered pooch, or a sophisticated schnauzer, this column is your dog’s go-to spot for all doggie dilemmas! Your friendly neighborhood canine correspondent, Beaubien the Bully Mix (or Beau, for short), is here to dish out advice from one pup to another. Please enjoy our first edition below!

Dear Beau,

I've got a bit of a dilemma, and I thought, who better to ask than a fellow furry friend like yourself?

So, here's the scoop – my humans keep whispering about this thing called "spaying" or "neutering." Now, I'm not exactly sure what that entails, but it sounds like they're planning some sort of grand adventure without me. Should I be worried? Will I miss out on all the fun if I go through with it?

I mean, on one paw, I've heard it can be ruff to deal with the consequences of not getting "fixed." But on the other paw, I'm not sure I'm ready to give up my, uh, *ahem*, assets just yet. I mean, what if I want to start a canine rock band someday and need those extra howls?

So, what's a dog to do? Should I take the leap and join the ranks of the spayed and neutered, or should I hold onto my furry dignity for a little while longer?

Thanks for lending an ear, or should I say, lending a tail wag!

Yours in curiosity and confusion,
Tony

Dear Tony,

It seems you're facing quite the conundrum, but fear not, my furry friend, for I am here to lend a paw of wisdom!

Now, let's talk about this whole spaying and neutering business. I know it might sound like your humans are planning to send you on some wild adventure to the land of squeaky toys and endless belly rubs, but trust me, it's not quite like that.

Think of it this way – getting "fixed" is like upgrading to the deluxe package of being a dog. You know those pesky hormones that sometimes make you feel like you're chasing your tail in circles? Well, say goodbye to those! Plus, it's like having a built-in excuse for not having to deal with the whole dating scene. "Sorry, I can't go on a date, I'm spayed/neutered" – it's the perfect excuse for a night of binge-watching your favorite canine-centric movies.

And let's not forget about the health benefits! No more worrying about surprise litters or health issues creeping up when you least expect them. It's like having a golden ticket to the land of good health and endless treats.

But hey, I get it. Surrendering your, um, "assets" might seem like a tough pill to swallow. But think of it as trading in those extra howls for a lifetime supply of belly rubs and tasty snacks. It's a pretty sweet deal if you ask me.

So, my dear Fido, embrace the spay/neuter life with open paws. Trust me, you won't regret it. And who knows, maybe you'll even start that canine rock band after all – with a whole pack of spayed and neutered pals by your side!

Wishing you many tail wags and tummy rubs,
Beaubien the Bully Mix
Your furry advice columnist pal